Hear no Evil…

We would like to take a moment and kindly say BOO to the following recording artists and their latest releases:

Name:

DUFFY – “ROCKFERRY”

Why we can’t stand her? 

She is the Recording Industry’s sober alternative to Amy Winehouse. You know what?! We PREFER our retro-cool-neo-soul singers to BE strung-out, drug-laden tabloid fodder, OK?

Name:

GAVIN ROSSDALE – “WANDERLUST”

Why we can’t stand him? 

Because… grunge is over, dude!! Besides… isn’t your wife, luscious Gwen Stefani, the poster-girl for everything sunny, dancy and pop? “Hollaback Girl”? So, why the scowl, man?

 

Name:

COLDPLAY – “VIVA LA VIDA…”

Why we can’t stand them?

Because even with Brian Eno producing, Coldplay STILL sounds like the soundtrack for that scene in any romantic movie, where the Guy is running through the airport, trying to catch the Girl who he recently broke up with, before loosing her FOREVER. Seriously though. Try any track. It really works. Yawn…

 

Name:

MOTLEY CRUE – “SAINTS OF LOS ANGELES”

Why we can’t stand them? 

Bloated, old, dismal and built for their cyborg marketing overlords. The same can be said about the Crue’s latest release.

 

Name:

TOKIO HOTEL – “SCREAM”

Why we can’t stand them? 

To lead singer, Bill Kaulitz: Save all your teen, emo-psychodrama for your unhealthy and lustful obsession of becoming the first living, breathing anime action figure and spare the rest of us of this boring, predictable and overdramatic crap, please…

Sorry, we didn’t mean to sound so angry. Hold on… uh…, no, no, no… stop crying,… wait…we didn’t…no…its just that… aw, shucks…

 

Name:

SCARLETT JOHANSSON – “ANYWHERE I LAY MY HEAD”

Why we can’t stand her? 

Although you gotta give the girl points for trying, Johansson’s debut album falls way flat; remarkable atmospherics by TV on the Radio’s Andrew Sitek’s production anchor Johansson’s unremarkable croon. We love ya, sweetie, but stick to the acting. You’re great at that.

 

 

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9 Comments

Filed under Music, Opinion

9 responses to “Hear no Evil…

  1. Amy

    Fuck you xD
    TH is da best.

  2. mm

    motley crue rocks!
    fuck you man WTF do you know about music

  3. utopia901

    Dear Amy,

    We are sure TH is “da” best.
    You do mean Tinned Ham, right?

  4. utopia901

    Dear MM,
    Not a whole lot, but you’ve gotta admit this was a pretty awesome post.

  5. gabby

    fuck you. tokio hotel is awesome.

  6. Alex

    yeah okay. all of those bands/artists are good. although i will agree to scarlett she is beautiful but acting is her thing

  7. Jesse

    Every band/artist was hit perfectly. The band here I hate the most is Tokio Hotel. They’re the gay vampire alternative to the Jonas Brothers who are as equally DISGUSTING!!! You got one thing wrong, grunge isn’t dead. It’s just sleeping, waiting for the right band to wake it up. So it can finally end the pussy filled emo scene and bring rock music back to it’s former glory of anger, angst, aggression, and straight up rule breaking.

  8. Jesse

    Oh yeah Amy, Gabby, MM, and Alex…. all of you are fucking retarted! Lemme guess your probably a bunch of 21st century teenie boppers who wouldn’t know good music even if some rock came on your faces. Just because you’re a teen/young adult growing up in this generation doesn’t mean you have to be such fucking sheep. I myself am only 16 years old and listen to such bands: The Who, The Doors, Black Sabbath, The Sex Pistols, The Ramones, Mudhoney, The Butthole surfers, Black Flag, Pink Floyd, and Nirvana.

  9. Jesse

    *Rock God came on your faces. (sorry I forgot that one word its late.)

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